一抖花 a shimmy flover

‧廖氏如神

百家姓中的各種姓氏在討論誰比較厲害…

親愛的兒子：
我這封信寫得很慢　因為我知道你看字不快

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一戶農家明天殺雞，晚上餵雞時說：「快吃吧，這是你最後一頓！」
第二天見雞已躺平並留遺書：「我已吃老鼠藥，你們也別想吃我，我他媽也不是好惹

誘導成功======================

阿強：「老婆，下周我要去紐約出差。」

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.

住口
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
如果你的狗在後門吠，而你的妻子在前門大喊大叫，你會讓那一個先進來？

   Blind man
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."