一抖花 a shimmy flover

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."

一對夫妻在鄉村路上開了好幾哩...沒說一句話。因為早先的討論造成他們爭執，誰也不想讓步。當他們車子經過一個股有個騾子羊豬的穀倉旁，老公諷刺的說:他們是妳的親戚?老婆回答說:是啊，是姻親!
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day ... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men ... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

先生讀了一段報導有關於女人一天要說30000字，而男人只說了15000字的文章給老婆聽。老婆回答說:原因是我們必須重複每件事情給男人聽。老公回過頭問老婆:蛤?f= = 妳剛剛說什麼?
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

一個男人一天對老婆說:不知為什麼你那麼蠢同時又那麼的美！？老婆回答:讓我解釋給你聽，上帝讓我哪麼美..所以你被我吸引..上帝讓我那麼蠢.所以我才會看上你!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

夫妻倆爲誰早上該煮咖啡而爭執..妻子說:你該煮..因為你先起床，這樣我們就不必等咖啡等太久 The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

丈夫說:你在家負責煮飯..所以咖啡你也要煮..因為那是你的工作..我要等著喝我的咖啡.. Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

妻子回答:你該煮..聖經上也說男人該煮咖啡.. Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

丈夫回答:我不信，證明給我看. So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

她拿來聖經翻著聖約書，在最上面的幾頁裡確實寫著: 他煮(希伯來文）
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

夫妻二人在家相處上有點問題而開始冷戰。忽然，男人想到第二天5點得起床搭飛機去洽公。因為不想先開口講話(認輸)，就留了一張紙條給女人 "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

"明天早上5點請叫醒我"還把紙條放在女人看得見的地方。第二天早上，男人9點自己醒來已經錯過飛機了！火大了~想去問女人爲什麼沒叫他..這時候看見床邊一張紙條上面寫著:五點了！起床!
"男人在這種與女人的競賽上..裝備明顯還是不足~

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
上帝先造亞當再造女人...大師總是先打草稿再創造傑作。